Are You Using Emotional Intelligence When You Parent?
The idea of Emotional Intelligence (E. I. ) was proposed in the early 1980’s. Electronic. I. is the ability to access and use your feelings in order to be motivated and make good decisions. Daniel Goleman, a leading authority on Emotional Intelligence, describes the abilities that make up Electronic. I. as your capacity to understand your personal feelings and the ones of others in order to manage your emotions.
Defines how and what you learn.
Can help you set priorities and make choices.
Reduces discipline problems.
Increases on task behavior.
In the last twelve years, researchers have discovered that emotional consciousness and the ability to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness, including family associations. For instance, people in good moods are better at inductive reasoning and creative problem solving. Emotional Intelligence is usually not arranged like I. Q. These abilities are learned and can be retained through motivation, work, practice, and support. Children learn Electronic. I. coming from a combination of modeling, experience, practice and reflection. The family members setting is an excellent place to offer this opportunity.
Emotional Smart parenting focuses on five main principles:
1 . Be aware of your own feelings and those of others.
Think of a recent problem in the family.
How were you, your children, or others feeling who were involved in the problem?
2 . Show empathy and understand others’ points of look at.
Am I able to understand another’s point of view even during an argument or when I avoid agree?
Do I express it to them?
three or more. Regulate and cope positively with emotional and behavioral impulses.
How do I cope with anger, stress and others stresses?
Am I able to maintain self-control when stressed or after a hard day time?
How often do I yell at others? When are my best and worst times?
4. Be positive.
Have goals and be strategy oriented.
What goals do I possess for my family and myself?
What plans do I have to get achieving them?
5. Use positive social skills in handling associations.
Do I listen to others and reveal back to people what they are saying?
How do I deal with problematic, everyday interpersonal situations?
Do I consider alternatives before deciding on a course of action?
In addition , you can check on your child’s E. I. by using these same five concepts. For instance, the next time you are concerned about your child’s behavior or attitude, consider some of these questions:
1 . How well can my child identify and verbalize feelings? Can my child identify feelings in others?
2 . How does my child show empathy or relate to another’s feelings? Can my child understand different points of view or see both sides of an discussion?
3. Can my child wait to get what he/she wants? How well can my child tolerate frustration? How does he/she express anger or other bad feelings?
4. What goals does my child possess? Does my child strategy things out before doing something? How have I helped him/her develop a plan for achieving a goal?
5. How does my child resolve discord? Does he/she listen and think of different ways of resolving conflicts? Can he/she do it independently?
Both factors in children that predict success and joy in adults are:
Learning how to deal with adversity.
Knowing how to create and sustain joy in your life.
Using the five E. I. principles, you have the opportunity of modeling and teaching your son or daughter how to deal with adversity. You also have the opportunity to demonstrate to your son or daughter how to produce and sustain joy.
Electronic. I. may be responsible for as much as 80% from the “success” in your adult life. As you think about when you and your child are at your best and worst, which of the five principles are the easiest for you personally and which are the most challenging? It is not too late to learn how you can put these principles into action with effort, practice, and support. As a parent, the payoff is worth it.